They Suck (a screenplay) Mature content! Adult eyes only!
Feature film script They Suck, by Kevin Risk and Regan T. M. Pazuzu
- Available in print December 2014, through Lulu! Publisher, Triple Take Productions.
- Available in near future for possible co-production.
- Readings of the script were originally performed at Hart House (2002, 2003) and LIFT Out Loud (2005)
- Honorable Mention Award (22nd of 100) for the 73rd Annual Writer's Digest Writing Competition.
- Honorable Mention (for the original short film version of the script) on "The Bastards Have Landed" website competition (Peter Jackson's Official Fan Site).
Synopsis: (Comedy/Horror) It is a dark, dank, odorous evening – a storm rages outside a gloomy Gothic mansion. Inside, a man much like Vincent Price (without the cuddly demeanor) sits in a large leather swivel chair, smoking a pewter crack pipe. He is our host, Vincent Von Suckles, and under his guidance the gruesome tale unfolds. A mutated vampire with extraordinary and extremely unnatural thirsts rises from his grave. One of his victims is a tidy, obsessive-compulsive named Nicole Ridley, and she is later found “dying” by her enraptured, animal-loving fiancé, Robert Spavor. Sadly, not understanding the nature of the attack on his girlfriend, Robert and his animals struggle in vain to save her. A broken man, he stumbles off to a bar intending to drown his overwhelming sorrows. Meanwhile, the city is being terrorized by the wantonly vicious attacks of the newly-born vampire Nicole. Her lurid escapades soon attract the attention of the Head Vampire himself. And it is not long before this same lusty, disgusting behaviour is drawn to the attention of her ex-lover, who then realizes the intense gravity of the situation.
Will Robert’s love for Nicole triumph over death? He will make it so, or die trying! He enlists the help of his troubled, childish friend Terry and together they wage a war against these new grotesque vampire mutations that culminates in the silliest, most vulgar, blood-stained, gory epic battle ever created!